Pussy(cats) Galore is on its way! - Releases July 30 - Showcasing "A Familiar Tale"

If you've been following me for any length of time, you had to know it was coming. I've had cats wandering in and out of my stories so long, wreaking havoc or fixing everything, that it was only a matter of time before I wrote a book of stories all about cats.

If you love cats or knows someone that does, you've got the perfect gift (yes, you can gift yourself!).
Available for preorder at several on-line retailers for $2.99 (for a limited time)!

Cats.

Fluffy, soft, and cuddly, 

Keepers of the amazing purr.

Vicious, deadly killing machines.

That choose to share their lives with us.

Science fiction kitties saving lives. Cat shifters. Vampire kitties. Ghost kitties. Zombie kittes. Even angel kitties. Every shape and size of cats, but each with their incredible catness and dual personalities intact. There's a kitty for everyone here.

Twenty stories celebrating the mystery, magic and mayhem of cats by someone who loves them like you do.

  Not enough to convince you? Well, here's a sample, something that might even feel familiar...

A Familiar Tale

You can find this story in another of my anthologies, Conjuring Dreams, but it's such a good example of cat story that I included it here as well as a bit of fun. It was also published in Elphame Realms Issue #2 (no longer available).

"Where the hell have you been, Shimmer?" Darima said, slamming the spellbook she was reading back on the table.

Shimmer raised expressionless eyes, one green, one blue, to Darima's angry face, but made no reply, sitting down on the windowsill she entered through. It mattered not at all that the window was closed. It was part of the magic of her kind that there were no doors or windows locked to her.

"Well?" Darima insisted, tapping a satin-shod foot. "Where?"

Humans are the worst busybodies, Shimmer purred in her mind. I don't see my whereabouts being your business. She padded silently along the windowsill and then leapt lightly to the table Darima sat at.

"When a potion I've been working on all yesterday hardens to useless muck because my familiar decides to choose that night to explore, it damn well is my business. It's my job on the line, here. It's bad enough I have to waste my considerable talents..."

Our considerable talents, Shimmer corrected.

"Our considerable talents on a trivial love potion for the king's pimply son, but, since the first potion blew up in our faces, we have to do it more than once." She pointed an accusing finger in Shimmer's face, which Shimmer was washing unconcerned.

So?

"So, you never admitted what went wrong, Shimmer. It's not like you to let a spell go awry."

For the first time, Shimmer looked a little guilty. It's not my fault I'm not a truly black cat, she said defensively, stroking down fur black at its base but lightening to a silvery gray at the ends.

"You can do anything a black cat can do and you know it. I think you just weren't concentrating!"

Maybe you weren't concentrating.

Damira was forced to choke down a hot denial, well aware that this was far more likely. It did not, however, improve her temper. "So where were you?"

Jealous? You have been irritable ever since Sendat left, Shimmer observed dispassionately.

"Sendat was a moron," Damira snapped.

I mentioned that when you first met him, if you remember.

A sudden suspicion struck Damira. "Did you go and get pregnant last night?"

I don't have to answer these personal questions, Shimmer huffed.

"Did you?"

Silence.

"Damn it, Shimmer, you know it screws up everything when you're pregnant. We're liable to give Prince Quorn a potion that will turn him into a bumblebee instead of love potion!"

I didn't get pregnant last night, well not entirely, Shimmer said with a touch of apology.

"Shimmer! So that's what happened with the last potion! Darner take you, cat. I'll look the fool if I can't produce a simple love potion. What kind of court sorceress am I?"

I'm in heat. What kind of cat would I be if I worried about your pride at a time like this? It's not as though your job were hanging on this. Sorceresses of your caliber are few and far between and King Morthand surely knows this.

"And he pays dearly for the privilege, too. You can't explain that sorcery requires the abilities of a talented cat, in proper non-pregnant health, and a magically adept chemist with a sensitivity to that cat's mind. He just knows he want magic when he wants it. His son, too."

Take his son to bed. You're considered pretty enough by human standards. That should quiet him for a while...if you're any good at it.

"Ugh! Spare me! Even if my job were on the line...no! And what do you mean if I'm any good at it?"

Amber, the wartiger at the back of the room, roused from sleep, lifting his massive head from his huge paws. Someone's running up the steps, he told her in his deep mental rumble.

Damira stretched an affectionate hand to his head and scratched beneath his chin, inches from the seven-inch teeth. "It's too bad tigers can't do magic," she mourned.

Tigers have better things to do than waste their time with magic, he said proudly.

Shimmer jumped to the floor and regarded him skeptically. True. After all, one can't have brains and brawn.

Amber made a swipe at her, but she magically disappeared, reappearing on the windowsill. Alright, smarty-cat, why didn't you know someone was running up here?

I did, but I didn't feel the need to act like a door-chime.

You're a pest, Amber snarled, bested.

You're only upset because I'm in heat and you're too big to do a thing about it!

Amber rich laughter rolled through their heads. Talk about delusions of grandeur! You impertinent little bitch!

Oh! Shimmer jumped back to the floor, hair raised all over her body and tail twitching furiously. There was no greater insult for a cat. You'll see what this little cat can do, you stone-headed...

"Damn it, you two, will you behave?" Damira said tiredly. There was an imperious knock on the door. Damira gestured and Shimmer leapt to the waiting shoulder while Damira straightened her gold crusted robes.

"Enter," she said softly, and Shimmer mentally opened the door...partway before it began to close again. Damira kicked it open with her foot and directed a glare to her familiar.

Quickly schooling her features into a model of lofty unconcern that revealed none of her surprise when she recognized the short round figure of her King and employer. Before haughty words of greeting could find their way to her lips, the King pushed the door shut and wrung his hands.

"Witch, this is desperate!" the King wheezed uneasily as more than the usual amount of sweat poured down his face.

"Please, Your Majesty, I prefer sorceress," Damira said disdainfully from her superior height. "What can your lowly servant help you with?"

"Lowly servant?" the King asked, confused. He was more than familiar with the exhorbitant salary this sorceress demanded and he had never noticed any humility in her manner. "Damn it, Damira, this is not for the maid's ears. Send her away!"

From the corner, Amber's earthy rumble echoed across the room. The King sent a glance of terror in the animal's direction and swallowed.

Damira swallowed a sigh. "She is gone. How can I aid you, Your Majesty?"

"A dragon! You must help us!"

"You wish me to conjure a dragon? Whatever for?"

"Conjure a dragon? What kind of nonsense is that? Why would you bring another dragon here when there is already one, smashing and tearing up the countryside? Why I would want another drag--? Can you do that? Call up a dragon? Can you specify colors and sizes?"

"Ah, you want to be rid of a dragon. That makes more sense." She glanced disgustedly at her Shimmer. "I can fit that in in two months' time, alright?"

"Yes, a small dragon, say ten paces long, with green and gold scales--like the royal colors, you know--in a golden cage or better chained to the throne with a golden chain! Ah!"

"Your Majesty."

"Eh? What? Oh, yes, the marauding dragon. Too big, really. Pity. Why they say it's 70 paces long and breathes fire. One can't very well chain a beast of that size to a throne. Not safe. You'll have to get rid of it. Say, by nightfall."

Damira gasped. "Your Majesty, even under the best of circumstances, I couldn't conjure a spell that quickly. I must gather ingredients, look up incantations. Yes, and there is another problem. Today marks the beginning of, er, Sorcerer Solstice where one is restricted from performing magic for two months."

"Sorcerer what? You never made mention of this before."

"It only happens every ten years," Damira said through gritted teeth, fixing her familiar with a horrible stare.

"Why would I pay a salary for two months in which you'll be useless? It should have been mentioned before."

Damira closed her eyes in pain. "I will, of course, forgo my salary for the two months I am unable to be of service."

"That's all well and good for you, but what about the dragon? Can't very well have a dragon going around eating unsuspecting citizens and destroying farmland while sit here, comfortably ensconced in the castle, idle."

"But, Your Majesty..."

But the King lost himself in righteous anger at this ill-usage. Her drew himself to his full height, a handspan or so below Damira's, and fixed Damira with a cold regal eye. "I won't stand for it! I'm the King! You must either dispose of this dragon forthwith or I will immediately dispose of your services."

"Forthwith...?" Damira queried faintly.

"By tomorrow." With that, the King turned on his heel and all but went headfirst into the door. Damira, distracted, forgot appearances and hastened to open it by hand.

Damira leaned against the door, brow furrowed in thought. Shimmer rubbed her head against Damira's cheek and purred apologetically. Damira wasn't impressed. "Well, cat, what have you got to say for yourself?"

Oops.

***

"'It's not as though your job were on the line,'" Damira mocked, swaying with the odd pace of Amber's stride. She was mounted bareback on Amber's back, and, although he had a fine, broad, well-muscled back, Amber was too fluid an animal to be an easy creature to ride.

Shimmer trotted alongside, turning up her nose at sharing Damira's ride. Do let it rest, she suggested.

"It had better work," Damira said again.

I told you, it will work.

"Well, it better. Did I tell you I stayed up all night pounding out this potion?"

Repeatedly.

"Well, I'm just telling you it better work."

How sure are you about your potion?

"Sure enough. I checked it four times."

You were tired.

"You don't have to tell me that! I saw you sleeping in the corner, contemplating motherhood, no doubt. I'm telling you the potion is fine. So, it had better work. Understand?"

Amber rumbled. It will work, Damira. Calm yourself.

"How do you know?"

I'll make a snack of Shimmer if she fails. Satisfied?

"Hmm. Perhaps. There it is!" As she spoke, a dragon glowing in red and violet, soared over their heads, neck craning to see these newcomers. A flicker of flame twitched between its teeth and it spun on a wingtip, sinking to land on an outcrop in front of them. The tales had not exaggerated. The dragon was more than seventy paces from nose to tail tip with a wingspan more than twice that. It stretched its serpentine neck and its head, fully ten paces high, studied her from less than a body length away, with no sign of aggression.

"Shit," Damira muttered, her nerveless fingers fumbling for the potion in a belt pouch. Potion in hand, she slid from Amber's back and reluctantly approached the glistening opalesque eye.

What will you do if that makes a snack of me?

"Just concentrate! Alright, here goes!" Damira crouched, ready to spring away and then tossed the contents of her pouch directly into the dragon's eye. She leapt away and rolled on the ground, trying to get out of reach of the dragon's blindly flailing claws.

"Now, Shimmer, now!"

Yes, yes, I'm trying. Do stop yelling.

"Shimmer, this isn't funny!" One talon protecting its mistreated eye, the dragon turned its head and fixed Damira with its good eye.  The other talon reached for her.

Amber leapt to her defense, throwing its body between the monstrous creature and Damira. The huge cat was childishly tiny next facing up to the dragon. The dragon backed for a moment before it answered Amber's battle cry with a low chuckle from its deep throat. Fire winked its humor in that sulfurous gullet. With a careless flick of the dragon's claw, Amber was sent sprawling.

The dragon turned back to its prey, Damira, only to find itself facing yet another obstacle, this in a minute snip of cat, its tail bristled up to twice its size and its eyes glowing blue and green.

How dare you bat away that proud mighty creature as if it was no great moment! It is the king of cats you defile with your touch and your disdain! Know what it is to face a cat's wrath!

The dragon reared on to its haunches and laughed a great roaring laugh with a geyser of fire and smoke. When it had finished, it eyed the mite of feline anger with an almost affectionate eye and reached for Shimmer.

You asked for it! Shimmer's eyes took on a frightening luminosity and the air crackled round her as before a storm. The dragon inhaled to explode again in laughter, and then disappeared.

Damira blinked dully at the spot so recently filled to overflowing with dragon. "You did it!"

Shimmer sat down casually and began to bathe herself. Of course.

Amber picked himself up gingerly and shook his great head. What did you do, little terror?

See for yourself? From the dust, a golden head lifted itself and observed its surroundings dazedly.

Damira's eyes opened and she scrambled to her feet and she approached warily. The red tabby hissed back, coughing a weak stream of flame, but resisted only half-heartedly. Such a transformation was undoubtedly wearying.

Damira cooed and soothed, then scooped him up in her arms. "Well, that's one problem solved thank goodness. I wonder if he wouldn't be able to help with magic until your kittens are born."

I don't know. He seems smart enough to learn a few rudimentary things. He really is a fine male specimen.

Damira glared at her in disgust. "Shimmer, try to control yourself. A dragon cat will be enough trouble; we certainly don't need a kindle of fire-breathing kittens."

I wonder...

Read more...

Twice the Man is OUT!

My Bete novels are among my best received. Not because they're sort of but not entirely YA while still appealing to adults (and I've had almost no one but adults read them). Not because they have adventure. And romance. And science. And magic. And a broken spaceship. And some of the best snarky banter in town, especially my bad-ass venomous snarky shipcats. Okay, maybe it is the shipcats.

And now, finally, I have finished the original intended trilogy with each of the original three best friends taking center stage in turn. Of course, none of the books were a one-man show, but the ensemble cast aspect, where half a dozen and more players have big parts, has become more pronounced with each successive book.  And I love it.

I may come back to my little world of castaways. We still have flooding there and a sentient arthropod out in the depths of the ocean not to mention that unexplained wormhole. But I tied up the most current stories, just like I promised. For a series that inspired by a manga/anime and written with my now adult daughter in mind (who never read it, ironically), I have  had a world of fun with the Bete series, and I hope you do, too. If you want to find them all, you can find them on my website. http://stephanieebarr.us 

Here's an excerpt:

As if breathing in her essence woke her, Rem felt someone stir against his chest. How she always ended up curled on his chest, he didn't know. But he loved it. "How are you feeling?" he managed to ask, hoping he hadn't blasted her with death breath.

"Could you just kill me?"

"No can do, beautiful. And that was something I thought I'd never say."

"I am not beautiful, but, given what happened to me when I opened my eyes, I don't suggest you find out for yourself."

"I don't need my eyes to know you're beautiful," Rem said, chancing a little squeeze.

"I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I don't feel up to flirting. Or fending off flirting. Or, in fact, breathing."

"Flirting is the best reason I've come up with since I woke up for breathing, though I have morning breath that could kill a badger-boar at ten paces."

"Not true," she said, stirring in a more determined way and levering herself into a sitting position. "You'd have to get, I don't know, within arm's length."

Rem chuckled and then used his freed arm to grab at his head. The pain had not abated one iota.

"Rem," Sinda said, lowering her voice to an intent whisper. "Try to teleport out of here. Now while no one's watching."

Rem, who had still not opened his eyes, used all of his consciousness to visualize Cil and will himself there. The pain neither abated nor increased. But he went nowhere. He willed himself to grow, to become his other form, but, if there was even the slightest change, he could not detect it.

"No joy, eh?"

"None at all," he whispered. "What now? I'd ask my talent, but I don't have one anymore."

He felt a slap on his arm, hard enough he opened his eyes without thinking, then reeled a couple of moments.

"Don't you ever," she hissed, "talk like that again. If you start moaning that you're worthless, I will totally lose my temper. I can't shift into anything and I haven't exhibited even one tiny talent, but you think I'm worthwhile. And you're right! Because I'm smart and capable and don't just curl up and die when challenged. And neither do you. Last time you had an impossible problem, you developed a new talent instantly. Not that I'd turn it away today but say that doesn't happen."

"You don't understand," he said.

"Yeah, boo-hoo. Grieve later, we got stuff to do. Gonna give up, let the bad guys win, fall all to pieces just because you're down to the same set of tools the rest of us humans have? If you do, I'll know your tolerance of humans was a lie from the beginning as well as every word of admiration you've ever given me."

"That's not fair!"

"I've heard you and Xander say that no one is superior to anyone else, that there isn't Prime and sub-Prime and, I presume, humans a step below that. If you truly believe that, you need to snap out of it. I get that losing a super-cool set of tools to play with is a bummer, but we don't have time for that. You have all the gifts of the smartest humans I know. Use 'em and let's figure out a way out of this mess, and, yes that may mean never getting your powers back. I promise, if you help find a way free, I'll let you wallow in your disappointment for two whole weeks, but only when we have the time to spare."

Rem had put his hand over his abused eyes, but he lifted it to regard Sinda through one eye. She really was wrong. She was still beautiful. "If I come up with a way out of this and it works, will you take my interest in you seriously? Treat me enough like a grownup that I have a chance to woo you?"

"Woo?" she went into a peal of laughter. "We're surrounded by hostiles who have purged the magic out of everyone, we are facing death, torment, or enslavement, and you want to woo me?"

"What better time will I ever have?"

"I'll tell you what, loverboy. You figure a way out of this and make it work, and I'll totally date, or go out, or whatever you kids call it these days. I'd seal it with a kiss right now, but I think the state of our mouths would kill us both."

Since they were both sitting, she was within delightful reach. "I'm willing to risk it."

He slid his hands up her arms, and, to his intense satisfaction, she blushed. But then she pushed his hands away. "C'mon, c'mon, woo later, solve problems now."

"Aww," Danai said, obviously enjoying the romance. Silly kid. Rem chuckled and given how protective Kert was of her, Rem figured she'd find out about romance first hand soon enough.

He sat back against the corner of the wagon, pleased that the horrific after-effects of the dart were starting to recede. Or maybe it was Sinda. Either way… "Well, we don't have the upper hand." Rem looked through the wagon sides, counting wagons and what people he could see of the natives and the exiles. "Looks like there are more of us. Everyone from the upper camp and most of the crew and teachers from the lower camp as well as the Bete that were there and the older teenagers.  Maybe two hundred of us versus a hundred or so of them, if there aren't more in hiding. Probably, half are sleeping while the rest keep watch, I don't think any are missing. Or not many."

"Looks like most of the exiles are here so they're about half native and half the guys we kicked out. But then there are the wolves and I think that's their biggest advantage. That makes escape challenging as well as being a physical threat.  Also, we have been drugged and are still disoriented from having our skills ripped away. They are armed and know the area, which we don't, so the advantage is still on their side. And, they can communicate whereas we can't."

"Plus, they're ruthless while we still have our humanity," Sinda added, a little grimly. It surprised Rem. She was usually pretty tolerant with different cultures, but she looked positively murderous. Perhaps the double dose of dart had seriously impaired her good nature. Most likely, her antagonism wouldn't last, but she had it now.

"That's not always an advantage," Rem said. "People who think like a sword tend to (a) think of things in terms of black and white and (b) think everyone else thinks the same. No nuance. Nuance can be useful."

Sinda took in a breath and released it carefully. "Sounds like something I would have said myself. You're too smart by half, loverboy."

Read more...

Cover Artist Genius

In the past three years, one aspect of my writing endeavor has gleaned nothing but compliments and that has been my covers. I haven't gushed about them often but that's a bad on my part because I've had wonderful cover artists I've worked with. I've worked with several, though I may not have used their covers yet, and I have a couple of amazing covers from Brendan Smith, who I might talk about in another blog post.

Covers were a real problem for me. I tried to work with one group but the cover they sent me was far away from the tone of what I needed for my book and I had no options to change key elements like the font of all things. Then I tried to work with a freelancer but she was far out of my price range.

And then, after I had given up and drawn a bunch of my own covers:

Why yes, I am fond of purple. Anyway, I was working on a cover for Curse of the Jenri when I stumbled across a premade that was perfect, color-wise and content, for Curse of the Jenri.

 

Loraine became my go-to artist for covers and I found several other premades that spoke to me that I've used, though several are customs as well including reworking my existing covers.

 And, in fact, I have a bought and used a number of covers and there are more books coming with her work on them.

Not to mention this little lovely as my new logo:

Bottom line, Loraine does incredible work and I can't recommend her enough. You can find her on facebook (Ryn Katryn Digital Arts). Or check out her webpage

Read more...

SMASHWORDS Sale!

****End of year sale****

I'm not going to pound all of you with end of this, but there's no sense in having a sale if I don't tell people.

If you didn't get something good for Christmas, you can get all of my books either free or discounted from Smashwords - which can provide it in a format to fit every ereader need from Kindle to Nook to Kobo. Oh, and it's not just me so browse the site if you're in the mood for ebooks (and who isn't?)!

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/stephanieebarr

 

And they are good, fun, exciting, full of characters you can spend time with like

A four hundred year old shut in who reads fortunes and a care-for-nobody demon with a scruffy cat [Tarot Queen] or

A happy go lucky prince cum mercenary swordsman cum sorcerer and a rule-abiding self-assured sorceress/warrior who never asks for help, and, of course, six snarky telepathic kittens. [Curse of the Jenri] or

A clever thoughtful young man who thinks he's weak who can turn into a dragon and a sweet generous young healer who knows her own worth and wields a dangerous wooden spoon [Beast Within - Bete Book 1] or

A pugnacious firebrand who can think well in a crisis but feels in the shadow of his foster brother and a sharp-eyed, sharp-tongued engineer with a lightning temper and even quicker mind with even more snarky telepathic kittens. [Nine Lives - Bete Book 2] or

A teenage technological genius, short on social skills but long on dedication to those he loves and a scrappy girl who punches first and asks question later [Saving Tessa] or

A dragon-raised hermity mage who's given up on the world and a former slave who doesn't know the meaning of the word impossible [Taming of Dracul Morsus] or

Literally dozens of other characters in her anthologies [Legacy and Conjuring Dreams: Learning to Write by Writing] and her book of poetry [Musings of a Nascent Poet]

Everything's on sale OR FREE. Check it out. You can find them ALL here on smashwords. Including all my free mini-anthologies the go with the various novels. 

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/stephanieebarr

If you're not sure how to get the smashword files uploaded into your ereader, check here: 

https://www.smashwords.com/about/supportfaq/#kindle

(Scroll up and down for other options)

And the cat? It's just cute.

Read more...