MangaMania: Vampire Knight

Vampire Knight by Matsuri Hino is the last of my Christmas manga experiments to become a "gotta have 'em all" manga, though it's straddling the line between "gotta have 'em all" and "Compelling but not a favorite." To date, though, I tend to own them all whether they fit in either category. If I have the urge to read a series more than once, I buy them all and that applies to Vampire Knight, though it is far different in tone, style and story than the majority I own.

Despite how "in" vampires are (and my fondness for the Twilight series), I am not a vampire type person. I've never understood the fascination with vampires in general and don't go out of my way to read vampiric stories. What I like are good characters and any scenario (fantasy/science fiction) that builds a world that makes sense within its own framework. If characters appeal to me, I'm pretty lax on that second part, too. If a vampire story happens to do this, create appealing character(s) or a world that intrigues, I'll read it. For those bothered by Twilight, at least these vampires don't sparkle.

When I read the first one, I was on the fence on whether I wanted to pursue it. Then my daughter had me watch the first few episodes of anime and, rereading it, I became more and more intrigued by Kaname's character and the world-building regarding vampires/vampire hunters (genetic, by the way), and humans.

Anime? Yes Volumes of manga: 13 (11 Eng) Status: Ongoing

My rating: Gotta have 'em all (barely)

Age range: It's listed for older teen and should be (16+), primarily (I think) for some pretty grisly violence and no shortage of blood and death. Although there is no nudity or direct allusions to sex, much of the bloodletting is distinctly sensual.

Taboos and "warnings": Lots of bloody and graphic violence and horrific deaths. A great deal of veiled and unveiled sensuality. The vampires have their own rules, which also encompass incest and enslavement. Some hints at homosexuality and masochism, but nothing too overt.

Premise: Cross Academy has a day class (human) and a night class (vampires, actively working on measures to reduce friction between humans and vampires). The vampires are led by one of the last remaining pureblood vampires, Kaname, who saved the heroine, Yuki, from a vampire when she was five years old and who maintains a sincere and protective attachment to her. Yuki and Zero are both adoptees of the Academy headmaster, are the only ones who know the true nature of the night class, and are tasked with keeping the day and night classes separate. This is further complicated with Zero's antipathy toward vampires (as his family of vampire hunters were killed by one) while he slowly turns into a vampire thanks to a pureblood's bite.

Common manga themes: Self-restraint is romantic?

What works: First, at center stage, is the artwork. Very gothic, with gorgeous "uniforms" and very evocative imagery, I'd be lying if I told you that the artwork wasn't a big part of the appeal. Kaname is particularly beautiful, while Zero is drawn for beauty that seems somehow more down-to-earth, edgy. I found the artwork for the various girls and female characters far less compelling, but I tended to find their personalities the same way, so that might be related.

Secondly, I did appreciate the depth and complexity of this secondary world, with its long and bloody history, of vampires, vampire hunters and humans. It's not without flaw or contradiction and, in many ways, it seems amoral, but it has its poignancy and true emotion as well. A great many ins and outs and subtleties play through it and it's rather fascinating to follow them around to find out yet another secret. Actually, as more is revealed, more becomes tidy and holds together with the big linchpin to the whole thing being Kaname, not the youthful Kaname Kuran everyone thinks he is but the endlessly old Kaname who was as much a factor in the decline of vampires' ascendency as he was the creation of the vampire hunters.

I like how blood is a metaphor for so many things. It is used not only to transfer thoughts and emotions, and memories, but also love (a vampire's thirst can only be quenched by the blood of the one they love), longevity, medicine, nutrition, mutagent, control, power (including specific vampire powers) and even directly as a weapon, as used by Kaname, his "father," his "uncle" and also Senri Shiki. Blood is also used to seal spells, particularly the one that makes a vampire "human" and erases the memory of their former lives. I like that vampires frequently drink each other's blood as opposed to just preying on humans. There is also a modicum of humor, though it's more a sidelight rather than pervasive.

Kaname is another big draw. Beautifully and poignantly drawn, he is a man of mysteries, with his overt protective adoration of Yuki contrasting with some pretty dark doings involving considerable violence. Coupled with an otherworldly control (all but unheard of among vampires) is a rather amoral willingness to use people to serve his purposes. To all outward appearances, he is far more humane and well-intentioned than most of his ilk, and yet . . . Those loyal to him are fiercely so, including both Yuki and the Cross Academy headmaster. I find the characters of a number of the night class students appealing, even though we only get tantalizing glimpses.

Zero also is fascinating, the ultimate conflicted individual, hating vampires passionately, yet unable to preclude his own vampire nature from manifesting. Yuki's devotion keeps him from being torn apart by these conflicting drives (at the cost of her own blood), while both the vampires and the vampires hunters use him mercilessly to suit themselves. Yet, being used, he has considerable will and ends up using those that use him to serve his own purposes. His love for Yuki is touching and tragic. I suspect one reason why this manga continued past the "end" was a sizeable faction of fans who want to see Zero get the girl (as my daughter does).

Favorite character: Duh. Kaname. I like Zero, but Kaname's absolute devotion to Yuki, not just her person but her happiness, won me over and his complex history and ever-sad eyes are fascinating in the extreme.

Quotes:

Zero: Drinking blood on campus is strictly forbidden. Did you lose your mind, drunk on the scent of blood, vampire?

Zero: I couldn't stop myself from devouring you. I may kill the next human I target as my prey. Shoot me. You're afraid of me, aren't you? Hold the gun with both hands and aim straight. Aim for the center. It's not a crime to kill a vampire.
Yuki: I didn't understand anything but I've lived with you for four years. I'm not afraid. I can stop you. If that time comes. If you want me to stop you, I will stop you.

Yagari: The pureblood vampire holds her so gently in his arms... I don't give a damn why you treat that little girl so differently but of course you realize what she's done. You must be seething with rage, right? Yet you won't do anything, just like a proper honor student. Why is that? Why won't you tear Zero to shreds?
Yuki: It's so that I won't lose my girl.

Kaname: By the way, I've never told you why I'm pretending not to notice what has happened to you. I know how precarious the peace is here at Cross Academy so I thought about who could act as Yuki's shield in this place. You will not double-cross her because you owe her that much. That is why I'm allowing you to live.

Kaname: I cannot have you die now. I've allowed you to live so you could serve Yuki. I know you won't betray her--
Zero: You're assuming things as usual...
Kaname: Oh, but I know because our feelings for Yuki are probably the same.
Zero: I...I only want Yuki to smile from the bottom of her heart.
Kaname: Me too.
Zero: I don't want her to sacrifice herself!
Kaname: Exactly. (He offers his own blood to Zero) Don't ever forget for whom this blood was offered, Zero. No one hates vampires more than you yet you need blood more than any vampire. I think you're the most vampirelike of us all.

Kaname: Yuki, get out of the way. I cannot forgive the man who aimed that gun at you, a weapon that could destroy you, even if it was for a mere moment. I will not forgive him even if you hate me for five hundred or a thousand years.
Yuki: Please, I don't want to make you say something so sad.
Kaname: All right take some time to say goodbye to him. [Sucker]

What I didn't like: Yuki. She's not the worst romantic lead out there for me, but I couldn't get behind her thinking for most of the series. I respect her fierce loyalty, her absolute lack of fear when it comes to death, and even some decisions she made, but she's largely clueless on what's going on around her. She jumps into the fray even when its abysmally stupid to do so and seems to have no consideration for the many people consumed with keeping her safe. I can respect that the "men" who love her do so unstintingly and without reservation (as, admittedly, she does them), but I still do a lot of eye-rolling. I'd be happier if she were just a bit less clueless or inept.

Also, I'm disturbed by the pacing. The story went along quite bracingly for the first ten volumes and had what seemed like a nice tidy ending at the end of volume 10 (48 chapters), what's frequently referred to as the first arc. At the end of that story, the world order as it was is no more, with the Academy's night class a thing of the past, and most of the vampire world turned upside down. The distinction between arcs is so significant and the ending for the first arc so pat that I actually think she'd intended to end it there and was pushed into carrying it forward by rabid fans or publishing dictates.

I'll admit I don't entirely get what's going on in the second arc, but the pacing is considerably slower, with nothing coming to resolution (so far, with 21 more chapters) and some things I can't fathom, like the current relationship with Kaname and Yuki, which should look like marriage but is apparently something else? The style of drawing has changed as well, with it now dominated by a sort of wispy pencil type minimalist drawing and every vampire having the same somewhat empty eyes. Still pretty artwork, but nowhere near as powerful and with minimal contrast between the extensive details and the minimalist.

Vampire Knights has eleven books out in English and chapters available out to at least Chapter 69 as volunteer scans on-line. The anime is dubbed in English, at least for the first arc and the second season is coming out as well. Zero's voice in that is the melodious Vic Mignogna (same as OHSHC's Tamaki). As always, if you love it, buy the books. And, yes, I did..

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Manga Mania!

I admit it. I'm obsessed. I took off Friday so I could have a four day weekend and, aside from hanging with the hubby and the two small children, I spent it all immersed in new manga. That's right, I had a terrific time with it and fell in love with two more series.

Sorry for those of you who wanted to see me around, but I don't really regret it. I love getting immersed or falling in love with new characters.

I love it. I haven't entirely figured out why I love it, but I do. I'm going to add a column to the blog on the side with a list of my favorite manga series and, given that I'm between novels at the moment until I get inspired (and because manga is behind my drawing interest at the moment, too), I thought I'd introduce some of my favorites and why in this blog.

Because, hey, the better I understand why I like them, the better I might be able to harness what appeals to improve my own work, assuming it's not all the art.

So, next time, that's what I'll do.

Before I go, some important caveats:

(1) I read mostly shoujo manga, intended for teenage girls, so it's not all encompassing.
(2) Plot, the mangas I've read have such laughably stupid stupid plots and motivations that make no sense - of course, I always felt that way about hero comic books, too, so that might just be me.
(3) social mores and priorities are not the same world-wide.

So, as I go into the mangas, I'll start with my favorites I've found so far. For those of you who'd rather stab yourself in a the eye with a sharp stick than read manga, well, feel free to skip 'em.

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Not a Salesperson

For those of you wondering what I'm up to, well, I've been going over the Bete novels again. I'm going to try to find an agent and/or publisher for them.

Only problem is, I can't seem to write a query to save my life. Or rather, I can't write a good query to save my life. I mean it seems like a good query when I'm writing it, but the more I read it, the more I have others read it, the more and more it seems "meh."

I read Query Shark religiously. I know intellectually what needs to go in it, but I also know the voice is the key. I can get voice is a hopeless mishmash that confuses and dazes. I can get the formula though it reads as dry as a Pentagon briefing. Despite my best intentions, my queries stink to high heaven.

My husband says I'm not a salesman. He does not mistake the case. I'm the sort of salesperson who could keep people from buying what they came to get. I stink. Part of it is that they are books about characters with the plot largely incidental, so the formula is less than effective. The characters are the selling points, in my opinion.

I also don't do lots of other things that engenders getting published. My first paragraphs are not stellar - I grew up reading classics where you might not even meet the main characters until a third of the way through the book, where character development was everything. It's what I like, but also, apparently, passe. It's not how you get noticed.

Perhaps, and it's a real possibility, my writing isn't really notably better than my sales pitch. Hard to be objective. Perhaps I'll never be published because I can't promote my work properly, even if it is good. Sobering thought, that. But plausible.

Also the drawing has taken a step back, partially because of a crowded work schedule recently and partially because stepping out with new poses and Tander's features didn't work so well. I'll have to go back and regroup and try again.

And I will. I may end up 83 years old and unpublished, but it won't be because I gave up.

But a couple of the days in between are bound to be disheartening.

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Always Gotta Be Different

With anything other than motor skills (acronyms and the names of business associates), I tend to be a quick study, the kind that usually does better learning in her own way. Self-study and self-taught has been my way in general because I tend to know best how I learn. That even applied, to some extent, in singing.

I had a couple of books on how to draw manga that I'd bought for my more artistic daughter and husband in the hopes they could be the artist, but they never pursued it. I looked through them, but, again, I just can't see going that way. I have no interest in drawing people as series of ellipses and then filling in over that.

As I was planning to do this, but still finishing my latest novel, I spent a lot of time trying to decide how I wanted to start. The challenge, I figured, was coming up with a face for a character I was satisfied with, then practicing drawing that character with (a) different expressions and (b) in different poses. Drawing the same character consistently, that I figured would be challenging. When I had one character down, I'd design and do the same with then next key character and do that until I had all the main characters laid out. By then, I could start thinking about what else I needed to work on.

So, last week I started. I'm using the worlds cheapest mechanical pencil (0.7 mm unrefillable papermate you can buy by the jillions from Sams), a vunderbar white eraser (Pentel Tri-Eraser) I would recommend for ANYONE who likes to draw or draft (if you're going to spend money, that's where I'd spend it), and a $2.35 sketchpad I bought from Walmart. The tri-eraser has it all over my beloved click eraser I use at work because it has three sharp points for doing detailed erasing.

I don't do rough drafts, largely because I'm too perfectionist. I'd get frustrated and stop. I know nothing about using models. I found a pair of eyes in manga I wanted to use for my main character in manga because I thought they were so expressive.

The next two days, I worked on this picture of Tander, hoping to make a reference Tander I can use for learning and drawing the character in different expressions, poses and clothing. I drew them the first day I worked on this, using features from manga I liked (different faces) and then putting them together or adapting them until I had what I wanted. Only the eyes are really stolen. It is not retouched.

You can see I have some work to improve my symmetry and you can clearly see the eraser earned it's keep. I may also, as I work on other aspects, expressions, whatnot, want to change a few things.

However, as a starting place, I'm actually pretty pleased. I was able to do something more easily than I expected. Manga is pretty low on requiring too much detail. I also discovered as I redrew eyes multiple times, that I drew them faster and consistently (even as I varied them in position and size) the more I drew. I thought that boded well.

Some of you might have been uninterested in my little experiment. If you were, sorry. And sorry for those of you looking at this and shaking your head at my obvious lack of training/ability. I expect it to be a slow learning process.

Even so, I'm pleasantly surprised at my progress. I thought some of you all might be, too.

Update: Note to self. It does not increase my confidence to see my clumsy sketch, then scroll down and see the panels from Shinobi Life. I do have a long road ahead.

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A Little Perspective

Just goes to show that one should follow one's own advice. So, I read my new book to my normal collaborator (who wasn't on this one because, hey, it's a YA romance) and, surprise, he hated it because it's not his thing.

So I started hating it even though I LOVED it. I did two things. I addressed a repetition/pacing issue by mixing up perspectives in the novel (complete rework) and I told a friend of mine about the characters. And, she completely got it.

Which argues, at least some of the time, matching audience to novel matters. I feel better (though I'm not touching it again for at least a month). She got a kick out of a chance to read it. And I'm on a more even keel.

So, I'm going to tell you what I'm going to try to tackle next, in the non-noveling category. I've mentioned before that, when it comes to drawing, I lack talent. My sister, Shakespeare hogged not only all her artistic talent but the stuff that should have gone to me. That's my position and I'm sticking with it. Instead, I have tried to express much of the same thing with words.

Well, my obsession with manga has made me realize that just isn't good enough. Take a look at that four beautiful panels from the wonderful manga Shinobi Life by Konami Shouko (which is absolutely worth reading over and over again). Note that I am an advocate for purchasing the manga and I'll have the next three of this one as soon as they come out. [I took these images from the manga site MangaFox]:

 Admittedly, this will mean more to me since I read the 31 chapters that came before this.

My point is, I had got a wealth of subtle information from these page, despite the minimal dialog. Subtleties in character and emotion that would have taken me far longer to express far less effectively in words.

And that is driving me crazy, so, I'm going to do something most likely fraught with failure. I'm going to try to draw some manga, notably turning my first novel into one. It will take a long time. I may never show you the end result because, hey, I'm a perfectionist. But I'm going to try and use that pursuit as something to fill in my in-between novel times so my subconscious has time to cook up something good.

Wish me luck. I'll need it.

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Mixed Blessings

Well, I'm back. I finished Saving Tessa which I really loved writing. Too bad it sucks. I hate that.

I know it sucks, even know why it sucks. Not sure if it's fixable. It bothered me so much I tried to rework it instead of doing the smart thing and just setting it aside until I had perspective.

So, in six/eight weeks, when I HAVE perspective (I hope), I'll read it and the five chapters I reworked (separate file) and see if there's anything to be salvaged.

When I first had the idea I thought it might turn into one of those ideas that would never be marketable, never suit anyone but myself. It wasn't a complete waste of time, if only because I DID love writing it and have characters that, if the opportunity presents itself, I can put in a story with a bit more meat on it maybe.

I don't know. I did mention I don't have perspective at the moment. I've got something else I've been meaning to play with. Next time, maybe I'll tell you what it is.

Wishing you joy in your endeavors.

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Writer Beware

Janet Reid has a warning on her blog about a contest that not only bilks unsuspecting writers of all rights to their own work, but money as well with no assurance a prize would even be awarded (as it depends on the "number of entries").

The best defense for those of us who dream of someday becoming published is education and information. If you missed her warning, you can find it here. Check it out. See for yourself and note the warning phrases any writer should look for when seeing an offer that looks "too good to be true."

It always amazes me when the people behind these nefarious plans step forward to defend themselves.

Be aware.

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Tessa Miller Because We Like To Be Fair

I've told you I appreciate Dylan Chroz, really identify with him, but I can't have him partnered with someone who doesn't carry her own weight. Part of the fun of working on my current novel is the contrast between the way Dylan thinks and the way she thinks, though they often agree and are so devoted to one another. The way the see the world and attack problems is utterly different

And doesn't that make it more interesting? Or maybe that's just me.

Chapter 11

She needed him, not because he took care of her, but because he was the best part of her life. She looked forward to challenging herself by challenging him, talking to him, playing with him, touching him. And these bastards were planning to use her to hurt him. Well, they made one major miscalculation on that one. No one was using her to hurt Dylan Chroz, not for long, or she wasn't Tessa Miller. Dylan might have bested her in a number of subjects, but no one else was bloody well going to do it. And no one else was going to pay for her mistake.

Chapter 12

"Actually, our intelligence tells us Dylan Chroz is unnaturally attached to you and notoriously protective." [kidnapper]

"I haven't been much impressed with your intelligence. Maybe he's just a nice guy." [Tessa]

"You'd best hope you're wrong, If he has no interest in you, then the only value you have at that point is what I can sell you for overseas. Fortunately for me, that's a considerable sum. Your youth and obvious innocence hold more value than culture and class to those markets. Even the spirit you have can demand a premium for those that like to destroy such things."

She had never been so frightened in her life. Damned if she'd let him know. "Nice to know someone still buys American. I was starting to wonder."

"I am. How do I know you still have her, that she's still alive?" [Dylan]

"Tessa, do be kind enough to set Mr. Chroz' mind at ease," the Shadow Man said.

Tessa said nothing, even when the grip on her shoulder threatened to separate it.

"Well?" Dylan asked. "Or are you just yanking my chain?" "Yanking my chain," was one of Tessa's pet phrases. She was surprised to hear Dylan use it since he rarely used anything like slang.

"Tessa, I've warned you not to try to cross me. Guido, take out a finger." [Guido is not Italian - long story]

Guido started with the left hand. Tessa was double-jointed, particularly in her hands. Dislocation was a frequent problem, so she knew what was coming and exactly how painful it would be. She managed to keep herself to a grunt. Pinkies where the worst, but were least useful.

She glared at the Shadow Man.

"Guido, she's being difficult. Go for the thumb. And, if that doesn't work, an elbow. If we keep moving up the body, we will eventually come across some bone that will break Ms. Miller."

"No, wait!" Dylan said from the phone. "Tessa, please, please, just say something. Don't make me listen to them break you to pieces."

"Damn it, Dylan, will you stop protecting me!"

She heard his sigh over the phone. "Tessa," he whispered. "Thank God."

"Dylan, you idiot, you're agnostic."

Chapter 13

Sometimes, even the best plans go awry. Tessa wasn't saying it had been a good plan—it wasn't—but it had had the merit of being simple.

At first, it looked like it worked. A little earnest pot stirring—moving around in a suspicious way—got no reaction, so she had quickly gone to town on the hinges with the nail file. The nail file didn't survive the procedure—a dislocated finger was a bit of handicap—but its death was not in vain. A little quiet wiggling and the door was free.

The outer door was dead-bolted as well, though she'd really hoped it wouldn't be. She'd hoped so not only because she was all out of nail files, but also because the hinges were not accessible on this door. Oh, well, Plan B was to break the door down, but it was a heavy metal door in a metal door frame. Not impossible, but more work than she liked, time consuming and noisy. As she tapped a foot, thinking, she noticed a dent in the wall and that gave her the idea for Plan C. She tapped her fist along the wall. Imagine that! This substandard building had studs almost four feet apart. Who knew she'd be grateful for slipshod building codes? She tapped on either side of the dent, made she sure knew where the nearest studs were, warned Susie to stand back and punched right through the wall. They used just quarter inch sheetrock on either side. A few kicks and she had a hole big enough to dive through. "Wait here!" she told Susie. And dove through.

As she brushed off the gypsum dust, she counted herself grateful she'd gone with plan C. The door had a bar across it and a few other locks. In fact, it would have been quite the deterrent if the walls hadn't been just one step up from cardboard. Well, no sense worrying about how her plans might have gone wrong. The room she was in was much larger, still with the plain concrete floor. At a guess, she bet it was once wall to wall cubicles, but now it had a couple of sleeping bags on air mattresses and two bean bag chairs in front of a large flat screen TV with video game consoles and a cable box. Given the mounds of discarded chip bags and beer bottles, she suspected her captors spent most of their time in here. She'd also bet this was just from today and that the relative tidiness of the room meant they'd cleaned up before the boss showed up. Or right after.

Fortunately, it was deserted, the television left on in the midst of play for what looked like "Borderlands." She unlocked everything on the door, but told Susie to hold tight while she scouted the way out. She didn't foresee any problems because there was no lock on this door and she presumed it was a straight shot (though perhaps not straight route) to freedom . . . except Guido and Spic, now short their bandanas, came in at that moment, carrying a new supply of greasy snacks and beer. So, Plan C (sneak quietly out with no one the wiser excepting one insignificant hole in the wall) turned into Plan D, (kick the butts of two half-drunk rednecks).

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Dylan Xavier Chroz In the "Flesh"

I told you about him, but I'm all for you deciding for yourselves. Be warned. There is a preponderance of references here on his overthinking and feelings regarding Tessa. That's because it's central to the story and because depth of feeling does not bring along with it innate knowledge on what to do when something really matters. I personally find that both charming and humorous.

From Chapter 2

Dylan was not the slightest bit melodramatic, even emotional, as a general rule. He didn't see his response to Tessa as romantic or fantastic at all but as a single irrefutable and immutable fact. He loved her and she had changed his world into something worth living.

Chapter 3

Tessa said nothing, but held herself stiffly. She did have a temper. She waited until they were halfway through the school before hissing, "I could have taken care of that myself."

"I haven't the least doubt that you could have nor that watching you kick his rather pansy ass would have afforded anyone of taste no little satisfaction. But I wanted to do it and I was faster," he replied. Not to mention that no one—no one—man-handled Tessa and walked straight for a week. Tessa could have taken him down, but she would have been less inclined to make it painful and humiliating.

"I don't need a bodyguard, Dylan. Seriously. I'm quite capable of taking care of myself. Right now, they'll likely think I kicked him in the balls, not that you hit a pressure point that I know as well as you do." She did know the pressure point and many others. Dylan had made sure of that personally. He also knew, first-hand, how effectively she had learned it since she had tested her knowledge on Dylan—at his own insistence. He sincerely hoped she never used it on him in earnest. At least he hadn't screamed.

"I expect anyone who saw I was there will have no doubt who hurt him. If you are called into the office, as I highly doubt you will be, you need only have them contact me. I'll take full responsibility."

"And you'd do the same if you were halfway across the school. If I get called into the office, I'll take care of it myself, Dylan. I don't need to be insulated from all ugliness. Have you so little faith in me?"

He was genuinely shocked at the notion, so shocked he stopped dead. "No, Tessa. Of course not! Who better than I to know what you're capable of. You're incredible, talented, brilliant, and driven. I know you could have taken care of him and half a dozen like him," he told her, earnestly.

She sighed and grabbed his arm as she so often did, laying her head on his shoulder. "But?" she prompted, tugging him forward.

For Tessa, ever and always, the truth. "But, I wanted to do it." Just like he wanted to protect her, give her every opportunity, and make her happy. Did she need him to? Perhaps not. But he wanted to do it anyway. “I'm not altruistic," he assured her with perfect honesty. "Everything I have ever done has been done to suit myself.”

Chapter 5

His mind dispassionately contemplated hiring a professional to ensure he would be an skilled and careful lover for Tessa. Despite an instinctive antipathy to the idea, he evaluated several positive aspects. He considered proposing it to Tessa until he realized that, if she endorsed the idea, she would likely expect the same type of instruction for the same reasons. His revulsion at that notion was sufficient to make him realize that the idea was very unlikely to find favor. Better not try it.

From Chapter 7

He'd hardly slept. She liked him, perhaps loved him. He hadn't even allowed himself to expect that. After hours of tossing and turning, he'd looked for distraction.

In the interest of furthering his knowledge, he looked to the internet in search of more detailed sexual instruction, and found far far more than he had bargained for. Perhaps such things were of intellectual interest, but they were, across the board, a far cry from what he had envisioned with Tessa.

Feeling a bit disoriented, he cleared registers, cookies and history, shut down his browser, ran a virus scan, and vowed to be far more selective in his terms for any future searches he might contemplate.

Then he thought he should get her something. If they were dating, surely, he could buy her things outright, no? No more passing by a jewelry store or clothing store, frustrated because the perfect item for her beckoned and he had no right to buy it for her. He recalled a set of tanzanite and another of sapphires that would have suited her exceptionally well. And a lovely dress, full length, of deep blood-red silk. She'd need rubies for that.

Perhaps that was too much? Overwhelming? He had to admit he had a tendency to overkill when it came to Tessa. No sense scaring her silly. Perhaps going slow was a good idea in every aspect.

He contemplated an on-line retailer, like Amazon.com, then realized he had absolutely no idea what he should buy her. He could buy her any number of things, but what did she want? Shouldn't each gift mean something, reflect his deep understanding of who she was as a person? If so, why was he stumped on what to buy her? Shouldn't he know?

He was overthinking things again. She didn't care about stuff. He'd ample proof of that. Or prestige. Or travel, or not much. She liked books and learning new things and trying new things, and challenges and him. He'd known that, of course, he'd always known she'd liked him. He'd just had been too afraid to read too much into that, afraid of expecting something from this lively fascinating person he could never earn as he was relatively dull and uninteresting.

That's it! He could make something for her. She made presents for him every birthday, something crafty and clever and perfect in every way. Each one was a work of art and treasured. He just wasn't crafty. Oh, he could probably make something, but it took some time to develop a skill, and special materials. And they frequently took time to create, too, like the crewel work she sewn that hung over his fireplace or the needlepoint on the opposite wall.

For the first time, he regretted his inability to create meaningful poetry or fanciful stories. He could write in rhyme and rhythm, but the facility to make them alive, to touch the heart, that was beyond him. He'd have to think of something else.

They should go on a date. They could head out tomorrow, just the two of them, to spend time alone together . . just like they always did, but, somehow, more romantical.

Perfect.

But where?

In his whole life, his brain had never been this sluggish and unresponsive. Instead of the dozens of destinations it should have provided (which would be nerve-wracking enough), his mind was completely blank.

He almost called Lawrence [his chauffeur] for advice before realizing it was three in the morning.

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Meet Dylan Chroz (Really, this time)

I said, some time ago, that I was all excited about a new character, one of those uber-bright people that don't seem possible, largely because I identified with him so completely. Yes, I know that still sounds conceited.

Well, I'm still pleased to know him even though I've been too distracted with other things the past week or so to really work with him much since. I will though. I have some time off. I got sidetracked on what I saw were some of the challenges for being "too" smart, but I really want to focus on Dylan because I want you to understand him, even if you don't like him.

I could tell you what everyone else sees: he's brilliant, with a perfect recall (a genius friend of me once explained that everyone has a perfect memory; what they might lack is recall) and an innate logical ability that can address details and big picture simultaneously (not impossible, I do that, too. It's the obvious that often gets me and that's true for Dylan, too). He can instantly size things up and plan out action (think Sherlock Holmes in the recent film) and has the motor skills I lack.

He's also rich and already, at the age of seventeen, enjoys a substantial autonomy, partially because his father does not have his technical abilities (and his grandfather did and used Dylan from an early age) and partially because his personality is forceful. He's good-looking, though he doesn't see himself that way. Too busy.

But that's what everyone sees.

He's been, however, largely isolated from any affection. His mother despised him. His grandfather used him (and despised his father). His father didn't really try to know him until Dylan was nearing his teens. Other than that, his life was filled with fawning or resentful servants and acquaintance, most of which never saw past the obvious.

However, like myself, Dylan is capable of great emotional depth however dispassionate he might appear, depth, in fact, in direct proportion to his intellect. As I am, he's somewhat all or nothing. When he loves, it is absolute.

Enter Tessa. Smart, pugnacious, impulsive, determined, imminently honest and honorable, she is as isolated in her way as he is, except she has the love of family. And an unshakable sense of self, that instantly draws Dylan who had all but stopped thinking of himself as a person, but only as a thing to be used. As he, in turn, saw people around him.

Tessa wants nothing from him, but only demands from herself, including the urge to one-up Dylan. Her unwillingness to take engenders an obsessive need to give. Her regard for herself--and himself--as people, not tools, changes his outlook entirely. (I know some are skeptical this is plausible. I have to believe otherwise; I've lived it.)

At no moment in the book is his unshakable devotion to Tessa in doubt. For the readers, I doubt her love for Dylan is also obvious (though he is slow to acknowledge it - long story). But then, love is only part of it. It's when Tessa is threatened, endangered, that we see both Dylan's strengths and weaknesses in the clearest light, his abilities and his limitations, what makes him human not robot.

And we see that he wasn't necessarily as alone as he thought he was.

Next time, a taste.

Gosh, I hope things work out well for Dylan. I really like him.

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