Rockets and Dragons: October 2020

I wrote this story a bit ago for a Facebook friend of mine whose son had just lost a very beloved (and young) kitty. It's in my book of cat stories, Pussycats Galore, but I've been seeing a large number of post recently where someone has lost a long-time companion. I can't fix it, of course, but, if this story could add even a little comfort, I want to offer it to anyone who could use it.

The picture drawn at the end is by my sister, Knixolate Bar. Find links for both of us at the bottom of this post.

Angel Kitty

On the other side of his closed eyelids, Mr. Rex sensed light. Not enough to wake him—sleep was so comfortable—but enough to touch his consciousness. He felt like he'd been asleep a long time.

After a moment, he felt licking on his face. His mother used to lick his face like that and he loved it.

"Mother?" He opened his eyes hopefully but a different cat greeted him.

"Hello, Mr. Rex," she purred. "Congratulations, dear one. You're an angel kitty." The cat was large, a black tabby with a white front and feet. Around her, the room seemed to have no corners or walls, like it was carved from the center of a fluffy white blanket with a soft light seeping in through it.

Mr. Rex stretched a paw and yawned. He got to his feet and stretched first one back leg, then the other before stretching out his back. That's when he noticed the pain was gone. For days, now, he'd been in so much pain. It hurt to eat. It hurt to drink. The pain began to follow him even into his sleep. But he wasn't hurting now.

"What happened?"

"You died," the cat said bluntly, but in a gentle tone.

Mr. Rex had crouched down after he'd finished his stretches, but he sat up at that. "Zane! What about Zane?"

The cat hung her head. "He is very sad, but he's glad you're not hurting anymore."

Mr. Rex crouched back down, his whiskers drooping. "So, I'll never see him again?"

The cat began purring again. "Of course you will. You're an angel kitty."

"Angel kitty?"

The cat nodded her head. "Every kitty who is deeply and truly loved gets the opportunity to become an angel kitty. That means you can watch over your person for as long as you want to. Love them just like before. Make sure they're never entirely alone."

She stepped back, revealing a circle in the floor, much like the TV box Zane watched now and again. But, at the center of the circle was Zane, helping his mother with dinner. She said something Mr. Rex couldn't hear and Zane smiled in response.
Mr. Rex touched a paw to the picture, but the surface defeated him. "I—I can't touch him?"

"Not directly, but, with practice, you'll be able to send your spirit down to comfort him just as you did when you were alive."

"Does—does he miss me?"

"Yes. He loves you very much."

Mr. Rex sighed. "This seems so hard, seeing him when I can't touch him. Do I have to stay?"

"No. We're cats. No cat has to do anything he doesn't want to do. No one is obliged. You stay with Zane because you want to."

Mr. Rex circled that circle in the floor, his heart heavy. Zane had been warm, perfect for cuddling with when he watched TV. Zane would play with him with a string, then laugh when Mr. Rex had tried to catch it. Would he never hear that laugh again? When Zane scraped his knee, could he not rub his body along his leg and purr? "It seems so hard," he said again.

"It can be," the cat said. "Not everyone's cut out to be an angel kitty, but you have the choice to be one. Why not take a day or two to decide? If you get bored, through that hole,"—and a hole materialized behind her—"there are lots of kitties playing. You are welcome to join them."

Mr. Rex nodded, liking the sound of that, but, instead of getting up to play, he sat, his eyes glued to the circle where Zane was setting the table. He'd go in a little bit, he told himself. He didn't even notice when the other cat disappeared.

***

Zane had always been a busy boy. He had school and went riding with his father on bikes. Just like when he was alive, Mr. Rex went to play with other kitties, wrestled balls of paper, chased after butterflies that were always just out of reach, and other things that kitties do, when they're not napping. No hairballs either. That had to be a plus to being dead.

Maybe Zane didn't really need him. The thought made Mr. Rex a little sad, but, after all, he was having fun wrestling with other kittens and pouncing on tails. And it's not like he could really be with Zane.

He'd been playing for a long time, but he found himself enjoying it less and less. The cloud where he could see Zane seemed to call him. The need to see Zane was sucking the fun out of playing. Well, a nap is always a good idea, he told himself as he sauntered in. He'd just glance at Zane before he went to sleep.

Zane was in bed, his pillow crunched against his face, tears pouring down his face.

Mr. Rex stared down, unable to look away. Even the tip of his tail didn't twitch as he saw the boy—his boy—lost in grief. And then, without thinking, he rubbed his head against the circle, as if he was wiggling his head up underneath Zane's chin. Don't cry, he thought. You're not alone, Zane. He could imagine himself squished up against the pillow, cradled in Zane's arms. He curled up on the circle, rolling to get Zane's attention, hoping Zane would feel his soft fur somehow, hear his purr. Don't cry. Don't cry.

Zane sighed, the sobs abating, the tears drying up on his cheeks. When Zane's breathing slowed and steadied, Mr. Rex allowed himself to follow him into sleep.

When he awoke, the first cat was back with him. "Have you decided?"

Mr. Rex blinked his green eyes. "Decided?"

"Will you be Zane's angel kitty?"

"Does Zane really need me?" He glanced down at Zane getting ready to ride bikes with his father and then squeaked. "His lace is untied. What if it gets caught?"

"What will you do?"

"He can't hear me!"

"Can't he?"

Mr. Rex pulled in a deep breath. "MEOW!" he said as loudly as he could.

Zane looked up, looked around, eyes hopeful. "Dad! Did you hear that? It sounded like Mr. Rex."

His father regarded him sadly. "No, Zane, I didn't hear it. Maybe—whoa, you didn't tie your shoes properly. That's dangerous. You'd better fix that."

Mr. Rex looked at the other cat, amazed. "He heard me!"

"Yes."

"And I heard him."

"You both will, now and again."

Mr. Rex watched Zane start biking, following his dad. "He won't always need me."

The other cat laughed. "He never did need you all the time. But, when he did need you, you knew. And that hasn't changed."

Do you think he'll stop crying?"

"Don't you want him to?"

"Y-Yes. But will he find another kitty to love?"

The cat nodded her head. "He might. I hope so, when he's ready. There are so many kitties out there that need love. But, it won't change how he feels about you. No one runs out of love, no matter how many they love. And no one loves another quite like they loved the first. Each love is as unique as the one loved. You have a place in his heart that will never go away, even if you choose not to be an angel kitty." She came closer and began to lick his head. "Just as he has a special place in your heart."

"I don't want him to be alone," Mr. Rex said, amazed at the notion that he was happy to say it. "I want to be there when he needs me."

She licked him right between the eyes. "I thought you would. Go play. You'll know when he needs you."

And Mr. Rex did play, but Zane was never far from his mind.

That night, when Zane began to get ready for bed, Mr. Rex watched him through the circle, warm with love for this boy, his particular boy. When Zane went to bed, he watched, glad to see no tears this time, and waited until Zane's breathing became slow and steady. Then he wormed his way between Zane's hands, as he had the night before, snuggled up beneath his chin, and thought. I'm in your dreams, Zane. I'll make sure you're never alone.

And went to sleep with the boy he loved.