Learning from Love - part one

So the word on my Rocket Scientist blog is, though I truly thought I had found my soulmate and loved him, heart and soul, only to be left with a shrug on his part for someone else (two days before my birthday, I might add, with no warning), I'm still qualified to write about love in my novels.

Which is good because it's a big part of all the books I've written and all the books I'd planned to write. But I can learn from this rather humiliating episode in my life to make my books better, more realistic, more powerful, even more romantic (without, I hope, being corny)?

Not sure yet. Hard to write at the moment which is why my blogs have been largely languishing.But can't let that go indefinitely, so here's today's questions, inspired by my having to deal with an "other" woman, for anyone who'd care to comment.

Jealousy is a big thing in many romantic stories, considered proof of caring. On the other hand, loving someone (by my own definition), puts their needs beyond your own. I have not done romantic triangles (or any other geometric shape) to date, but that might come not too far in the future. So, at what point does jealousy stop being about love and start being about ownership? Should you give away the one you love without protest if they truly love someone else? Are the two perspectives mutually incompatible?

And that brings up a side question. If we presume (and I do) that loving someone does not imply obligation on the someone's part, what does it say about an individual if they let the lack of return love (or falling out of love) corrupt the original love. Should anyone base one's love on what they wanted in return? Should it warp if the love is unrequited?

I will tell you how I see the answers to these questions in a later post, but, for now, I'd like to see your own responses. The floor is yours.